I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to blog about my gastric sleeve journey, but the reality is, its going to the center of my universe from today forward. This post will be fairly long, as its the first one about my journey and what led me here.
I started this process back in June (2017). Well, to be technical, it was about 3.5 years ago when my daughter was about 6 months old, but I wasn’t far enough post partum (they won’t let you have the surgery until you are 1 year post partum) and we also knew that we wanted to have another baby fairly quickly and didn’t want to wait the 18 months after surgery to start trying. So, those plans went on hold. I lost a good amount of weight after having my daughter by just doing the Center for Medical Weight Loss diet, which I had done a couple of times previously. I liked that diet a lot. I didn’t have to think, cook or plan, and it tasted like I was eating brownie mix. The chocolate powder shakes were the best! Somewhere along the way, the company changed the recipe and the shakes tasted different.. horrible to be quite honest! I even had my doctor order me an entire new box (he didn’t stock the chocolate powder, so he would order me a HUGE box just for myself) thinking there was something wrong with the lot. But even the second box tasted just as gross. So that was the end of my CMWL days. I had developed a love for Crossfit as well, which I also started doing when my daughter was about 6 months old. Between eating those shakes that I loved and feeling stronger and stronger everyday at the gym and getting new PR’s, I lost about 50lbs, and was only 28 lbs away from “wedding weight”.. my goal.
I ended up getting pregnant with my son shortly after anyway, when my daughter was about 18 months old. Morning sickness was all day sickness, and lasted the entire pregnancy. It was still much better than being pregnant with my daughter, I was even sicker with her. But I kept up at the gym, I even went to Crossfit the day before I went into labor. I was determined to have a VBAC, but we’ll talk about that in another post. I just had horrible nutrition during both pregnancies. All I could tolerate was carbs with butter melted on them. Specifically english muffins… oh they were the best! So all in all, I gained back about 46 of the 50lbs I had lost by the time my son was born. And then a couple weeks go by, and you lose all the water weight and baby weight and I was back down almost 25lbs. I only had 20 lbs to go to get back on track where I was before getting pregnant with him!! Whoop whoop! But then all the breastfeeding trouble started. My son had a tongue tie, which we had fixed, but he still never learned to breastfeed well. It was very painful for me, and we were making trips to the other side of the state to see a chiropractor for him and craniosacral therapist. It helped some, but by 2 months, I was exclusively pumping for him as it was just too painful, and I was back to work. Another fun fact, I had a breast reduction in 2001, so that makes establishing a milk supply even more challenging. Back on track to the weight struggle.. I was stressed out trying to establish a supply and on medication to help with it, so I ended up gaining allll that weight back again. By the time my son was 6 months old, I had stopped pumping, stopped taking the meds to help with my supply and started working with the trainers at the gym to get my diet back on track. Which is SUPER HARD when you’re working full time and taking care of a baby and a 2 year old. Life was crazy (and still is). We were having meals made for us for a while, and did some food prep on our own. I still felt hungry a lot, but my husband and I both lost some weight. I kept giving in to temptations.. I was eating about 1200 calories a day and was just starving. Eventually I gained some of that weight back. I also tried the Ketogenic diet as well. I didn’t lose as much as I thought I’d lose. People in those weight loss groups seem to shed the pounds like crazy. I’m also not a HUGE fan of all the keto foods.. cheese on it’s own to me is just sort of.. bleh.. and I was having a hard time making meat taste nice. I ended up falling off track with that a couple times, but would start back up, fall off again. etc. I realized it wasn’t going to be a long term solution. At this point, my son was about 18 months old and I had had enough spending a fortune on weight loss products. I contacted the Center for Weight Loss Surgery at Danbury Hospital in June, and restarted the process.
So here I am today, after months of nutrition appointments and pre-op appointments, it is the day of my surgery. I know I will be just fine, but you can’t help thinking all sorts of irrational thoughts. It’s scary not having control or awareness of what is happening to you. Fortunately I work at the same hospital I am having the surgery done at (I am an endoscopy nurse) so I already know most of the people involved in my care today, which will help ease the anxiety. I was even lucky enough to go in and see the surgery performed a few weeks back. We had to join the surgical team and do endoscopy on a patient during the surgery. It was really neat actually! I have requested an anesthesia provider that I work with, and even the nurse who called me on friday to tell me what time to be to the hospital today has had this surgery herself, so she will be the one admitting me today when I get there. It’s going to be hard saying goodbye to the kids today, for no other reason than my irrational anxiety. I’ll get to see them tonight when I’m in the hospital (I’ll stay overnight 1 night) and I’ve already explained everything to my daughter so she isn’t scared when she gets there.
Well I suppose I should start getting my stuff together! I will try and post tomorrow with an update!! I’m not ready to post stats or pics yet, it’ll be easier as history rather than reality! 😉